Negative Ethik

10. Januar 2015

Vor einigen Wochen erschien im »ZEITmagazin« folgende Kennenlern-Anzeige:

Engagierter (Schwieger-)Vater sucht einigermaßen intellektuellen Schwiegersohn für seine apart-attraktive Tochter, bisher noch Single und ohne deren Wissen. Sie wird 30 er sollte höchstens 35 sein und nicht zu spießig aussehen. Sie ist ZEIT-Abonnentin und sieht am liebsten Arte und 3Sat, aber auch amerikanische Thriller auf Sky, er sollte kein Bildleser sein, RTL2 ignorieren und keine Ballermann-Vergangenheit haben. Sie ist freie Mode- und Graphikdesignerin, er sollte beruflich gut dazu in der Lage sein, auch alleine eine mehrköpfige Familie zu ernähren. Sie ist Münchnerin und bevorzugt den entspannt unaufgeregten »südländischen« Lebensstil. Nur ernsthafte, vom (Schwieger-)Vater auf Herz und Nieren geprüfte Zuschriften haben eine Chance, in die zweite Runde zu kommen. schwieger-vater@[…].de

Gute Frage, was ich schlimmer finde – die patriarchale Bevormundung einer erwachsenen Frau, die zur Schau gestellte SpießigBürgerlichkeit, … oder aber den Fakt, dass hier die (vermeintliche) moralische Qualität eines Menschen fast ausschließlich darüber bestimmt wird, was er nicht tut. Adrian Plass hat diesen verbreiteten Reflex mal schön parodiert, indem er von Donald erzählt, der »noch nie etwas Falsches getan« habe. Das wird dann im Detail aufgezählt – »Donald war niemals habgierig, faul oder geizig, hat nie seinen Abfall in die Landschaft geworfen oder ruhestörenden Lärm verursacht, ist nie mit zuviel Alkohol im Blut Auto gefahren«, »hatte nie auch nur einen einzigen unfreundlichen Gedanken, […] trägt niemandem etwas nach, klatscht niemals und ist nie unpünktlich oder anzüglich oder verleumderisch«, … Am Schluss entpuppt sich Donald aber nicht etwa als »perfekter Christ«, sondern schlicht als Holzmännchen … Auch das Gleichnis »Vom Weltgericht« in Matthäus 25,31-46 kommt mir in den Sinn – da ist das Problem der Böcke nicht, dass sie Schlechtes getan haben, … sondern dass sie Gutes nicht getan haben.

… aber vielleicht war die gruselige Annonce ja nur ein Witz? Ich wollte es herausfinden. Und so bekam schwieger-vater@[…].de unlängst Post von schwieger-vater-ii@[…].de:

Sehr geehrter (Schwieger-)Vater,

erst jetzt stoße ich in einer Dezember-Ausgabe des ZEITmagazins auf Ihr Inserat – und die höchst originelle Suche nach einem Schwiegersohn. Darf ich Sie höflich fragen, ob das Anliegen noch aktuell ist? Die Liebe hat ja gewöhnlich Zeit. In diesem Fall würde ich mir gerne erlauben, Sie – und nach Möglichkeit dann auch Ihre Tochter – mit meinem (noch nichtsahnenden) Sohn bekanntzumachen. Die von Ihnen aufgezählten Kriterien treffen allesamt auf ihn zu, und aus meiner Sicht wäre es an der Zeit, seinem Single-Dasein ein erfreuliches Ende zu setzen.

Mit herzlich-kollegialem Gruß,

(Schwieger-)Vater II

Bis heute kam keine Antwort …

 

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